Strangers in strange lands – solo travel

Solo holidays within a group can be a blast. But stick to the rules, warns Sarah Tucker

The great writers have always had a view on whom you should travel with: “Hell is other people” (Sartre); “Only go on holiday with those you love” (Twain); and “You don’t know who your friends are until you go on holiday with them” (Tucker). Which is why enjoying the periodic comfort of strangers is so appealing.

Of course, it depends on the strangers. I once worked as a guide taking groups of 12 along the Cinque Terre, an almost impossibly dramatic stretch of Italian coast that could scarcely fail to make the heart sing. Except, that is, when the group is determined to find fault – the kind of folk who go into the bedroom and wipe their finger above each door and window to weed out noxious flecks of dust. I loved those types. Dirty sheets, I could understand. But the window frame?

Fortunately, most people on group holidays are not like that at all. If you are planning to infiltrate a gaggle of strangers though, there are five things you should bear in mind.

Firstly, it’s best to go it alone. Do not take a partner, friend or family, or you’ll be tempted not to mingle. Group holidays are ideal for single people or those who want space. Remember how much Shirley Valentine was able to do without her flamboyant girlfriend in tow.

Secondly, pick your numbers. You can’t choose the people in your group – which is actually a good thing – but you can choose how many of them there are. Around 15 to 20 is ideal: fewer and you’ll crave variety, any more and you’ll barely get to know them at all. And remember that space isn’t purely physical. It also comes in the form of not having to explain or validate oneself to every aspiring psychologist and registered busybody on the trip. You are there to chill out and so are they.

Thirdly, avoid anything too socially claustrophobic, like a cruise. A boat may be big, but it’s still a boat, and – unless you’re one heck of a swimmer – you’re going to spend most of your time on it, unable to escape your companions.

Wilderness and activity breaks are a much better idea, especially in the mountains. Not just for skiing, but in the summer too. AliKats (alikats.eu) is one company that offers excellent chalets, catering for up to 29 people, in the French resort of Morzine-Avoriaz. The staff cook superb meals (even to satisfy fussy eaters), assist with every need and will happily take you around. Some of them are ex-counsellors – perfect for high-maintenance, middle-class couples and their families, should the latter choose to ignore my advice and take this holiday together. They will even come and collect you, if you happen to get lost in the hills.

This kind of break is especially good for those expecting – or even hoping – to find themselves ‘lonely this Christmas’. Forget the Strictly Christmas special: go and walk in the mountains, amidst the maples and the pines, singing The Hills are Alive at a volume to set cowbells ringing. Watch the sun set over a frozen lake; hug a tree, if you’re really in the spirit. Then come back to an evening of board games with the potential to be more divisive than Brexit.

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Golf, of course, is a therapy all of its own. Walking, communing with nature, scoring all life’s holes in one – or at least giving it a go – getting in the swing of things, keeping your eye on the ball: if you think about it, many of life’s metaphors, puns and platitudes find their origins between tee and green.

Moreover, golf holidays are ideal and cost-effective for those on their own. The internet has really delivered with websites such as yourgolftravel.com, which lists the most affordable, the closest and the farthest-flung holiday packages, many of which include unlimited rounds, while others are for bed and breakfast with a round thrown in. Portugal is a staple for these breaks, but it’s worth looking at places in Italy, such as the Turin Palace Hotel, as well as the La Manga Club in Spain which also offers great facilities for tennis. With handsome instructors. Which matters not a jot, of course.

For swingers who prefer the UK – this is still golf, we’re talking – the former Ryder Cup venue of The Belfry, in the West Midlands, offers great value breaks from £75 a head for one night and two rounds, while Trump Turnberry (yes, that Trump) on Scotland’s beautiful Ayrshire coast offers very similar packages from £145.

The fourth imperative is to keep the holiday short. Three days or a week is about right. The comfort of strangers will teach you more about yourself than you could ever learn with family and friends, but after 10 days it can become painful. And you can’t hold your emotional breath that long.

It is on glamorous long-haul trips that the cracks can really show. The best way to enjoy a holiday in, say, Ecuador and the Galapagos is with a tour operator which offers group breaks. That means eating and rubbing shoulders with the rest of the group for the duration. Everyone will have high expectations, but the specifics on everything from parenting to budgeting may be very different indeed. And that can be a nightmare. It’s the reason why so many tour guides are ex-counsellors who have previously worked with problem children. As one remarked to me in an unguarded moment: “Problem kids are very good practice for one of these high-end tour groups.”

Finally, choose somewhere that you really want to visit. Sounds obvious, I know, but there is always a temptation to go for what you think that you can easily afford. That may turn out to be a seriously false economy. The beauty of being with strangers is that you are not their keeper – nor they yours. But if it all goes wrong and you find yourself at daggers drawn, or simply adrift with people with whom you find that you have nothing in common, the place itself will have to serve as your refuge.

So it had better be somewhere that you love. You may have to lose – and find – yourself in its beauty. Which, when you think about it, is why you went on holiday in the first place.